I'm the kind of AKB48 fan that doesn't really hides her fandom. There are days where I just dump random AKB stuff in conversations, or make everyone around me listen to AKB for the whole day if they stay near me. My personal Twitter doesn't exist anymore because I've totally moved to my idol-related one and, for God's sake, even my Facebook wall lately is 80% AKB-related.
I swear I try to refrain myself from going overboard with the whole fandom, because I know people who start as being indifferent to a certain thing can grow up to hate it because of being slammed on the face by it every single day. As soon as I realize I've been babbling too much about AKB48 or SaeYaka, I immediately bow or apologize, genuinely regretful. I try to content it for myself and/or people who are fans aswell and try my best not to push it totally into other people's face. Because, it's only a matter of respect, right? I wouldn't like to be constantly shoved with random stuff in which I'm not interested every single time either.
But lately...
Not sure if it is because my fandom has been growing to unexplainable levels or me just being super careless in holidays, but people around me are getting to hear a lot more about AKB comming from me. And guess what?
A LOT OF THEM ARE TRULLY LIKING THEM.
At first I thought "Are you serious?!" or, "They're just being polite", and stuff like that ._.
But a handful of them, well still mostly good/close friends, are genuinely enjoying at least their musics (since you can't go just go SUPER SPAM of AKBingo stuff, the best way to get someone into AKB is the music or doramas and I guess most of you know it), ask me for details about this or that girl, ask me to show more music or explain why the girls are different in a lot of videos, a lot of things.
I'm happy. I'm dumb, I'm a moron for being so happy because of this, and that's also why I'm posting this here because I don't want them to be even more creeped out by my fandom XDD but I'm seriously sheading tears of happiness. Everything is peaceful and warm inside me.
I always thought I'd end up being forever alone in this town being an AKB fan, always having to share my passion through internet and keeping it to myself in my real-life... I've seriously grown up used to that idea and suddenly everying around me starts being so good, TOO good... I'm happy, really happy, but also scared...
Because I know that for most of them this will end up being only temporary and/or they'll almost impossibly reach our levels of fandom... They'll most likely lose their interest before understanding what makes AKB48 so special and unique in the whole world... But I think, that for once, only for a little bit...
... I want to seriously enjoy my little piece of heaven moment surrounded by people who openly receive my passion for AKB with open arms. Even if it's just a sweet dream that might hurt me when I wake up from it, even if I'm just being naively blinded by foolish thoughts, I'll still let myself fall in the wings of a temporary town filled with AKB listeners.
Because in the end, the sharpest pain that this naivety can provide me will still be worth it with wonderful memories that will forever rest warm in my heart.
